Prejudice or discrimination based on age, known as ageism, can result in the manifestation of negative stereotypes towards individuals of a specific age group. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and negatively impact the overall well-being of older adults within society. The World Health Organization has highlighted that older adults who internalize harmful perspectives on aging may have a shorter lifespan than those who do not.
Middle-aged gay men in the United States have encountered significant obstacles and changes. The profound effects of the AIDS epidemic led to the loss of many friends and companions, beginning in the 1980s. While the gay community has faced significant challenges over the years, it is essential to recognize that some members of the community have contributed to perpetuating ageism by valuing youth and fearing the aging process.
The concept of internalized gay ageism pertains to the feeling of being devalued or diminished due to the natural process of aging within the framework of gay male identity. Mainstream culture and subcultures frequently link beauty with youth and connect self-esteem with physical appearance. It can result in many individuals, not only gay men, feeling unattractive and insecure and potentially experiencing depression as they grow older. While this phenomenon also exists within the heterosexual community, its emphasis appears to be intensified among gay men.
This blog delves into the various aspects of internalized ageism, examining its effects and implications. It places particular emphasis on exploring how gay men and their surrounding community can actively contribute to the eradication of internalized gay ageism.
Challenges of Aging Gay Men
A study published by UCLA Health highlights that in addition to the everyday stress associated with aging, both middle-aged and older gay men experience unique stress as a result of belonging to a sexual minority group. The research reveals that older gay men often feel compelled to conceal their sexual orientation and that others may feel discomfort or avoid them because of their sexual orientation.
The majority of older gay men opt not to start families or engage in long-term relationships. This decision can render them more vulnerable to feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially in the absence of a supportive and like-minded community.
Fighting Internalized Ageism
Older adults, regardless of sexual orientation, need and deserve the best care, respect, and support. It is proven that positive self-affirmation, attitude, and mindset can go a long way in eradicating internalized ageism, especially among gay men who have been through several negativities for most parts of their lives.
How can older gay men thrive and embrace the beauty of aging? They may begin by being self-aware of the advantages that come as one welcomes their midlife. Apart from having a group of friends from the LGBTQIA+ community, challenging and calling out negative age beliefs instead of ignoring them can do so much to reduce the stigma that comes with age. It is also essential for older gay men to educate and pass on necessary wisdom to the younger generation of gay men. We can make significant progress by offering kind words and education and celebrating growing older as a society.
In GOLDEN MEN: The Power of Gay Midlife (2022), distinguished clinical psychologist and author Dr. Harold Kooden demonstrates how to get rid of internalized gay ageism, thus encouraging gay men and everyone else to celebrate one’s self.
Dr. Kooden’s book thoroughly examines the insights gained from the experiences of gay men, incorporating their distinct life journeys and the process of coming out. It explores how these experiences and insights can equip homosexual men to navigate middle age and beyond effectively. The book features structured activities aimed at directing individuals toward successful aging. Initially tailored for homosexual men and released in 2000, the publication has gained widespread acknowledgment for its relevance to all individuals, irrespective of sexual orientation.
The aim of GOLDEN MEN is to confront and eradicate internalized gay ageism, fostering successful aging throughout all stages of life. The book urges readers to understand how to accept themselves as they grow older and acknowledge their self-value by seeking validation from people who can confirm and visualize a positive future.
GOLDEN MEN: The Power of Gay Midlife (2022) by Harold Kooden, Ph.D., is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Learn more about Dr. Kooden by visiting his website: https://www.haroldkooden.com/ or contact him directly at [email protected].
References:
Aging gay men face challenges after living through AIDS, cultural shifts
Dr. Sonya Arreola on Gay Men and Aging
https://aidsvu.org/news-updates/news-updates-qa-dr-sonya-arreola-on-gay-men-and-aging
Ageism in the LGBTQ community
Internalized Gay Ageism, Mattering, and Depressive Symptoms Among Midlife and Older Gay-Identified Men
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/gay-ageism-older-gay-men